Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can feel your judgement through the phone
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
