Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
