ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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