So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
