I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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