break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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