I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
