you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
