You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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