No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
