is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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