im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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