whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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