plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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