she looked like the before picture.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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