Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
