yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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