But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
