Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
