i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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