if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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