tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
