I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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