Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
