you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize