Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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