i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
