I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.