u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
