thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
