bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.