I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
