He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
