May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
