I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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