they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
last night I used snow as a chaser
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
