His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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