with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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