I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
