I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
