Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize