just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
