I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize