census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
