I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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