i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
