Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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