I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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