I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
