so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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