I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
