JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
