is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize