i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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