Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
