her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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