Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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