Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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