i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
