that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize