New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
