I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
