how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
