that's an acceptable place to lick
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
