Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
