Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
