So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
