just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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