You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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