How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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