THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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