like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
