Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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