got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
