I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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